INSPIRATION
My Child Failed the End-of-Grade Test and I Don’t Care
The art of not letting a test determine your worth
It was the end of the school year in 2017 and I had just gotten my daughter’s end-of-grade results for math. It was bad — really bad. To top it off, my Facebook was overflowing with people celebrating their children making the honor roll. I felt alone and embarrassed. I don’t know why, but I took her grades personally.
Had we not started tutoring early enough? Did I pick the wrong tutor? Were we not at the right school? Why didn’t I fight harder for her?
I wanted to be one of the parents posting about their child passing the end-of-grade tests. I wanted that to be my reality so much and yet it wasn’t. I didn’t want my daughter to pass her end-of-grade test for the sake of having good grades. I wanted her to pass because the last thing I wanted was for her to ever feel like she didn’t measure up against some arbitrary standard.
I wanted to protect her confidence.
I wanted to shelter her from the judgment and criticism of others.
I sat down to write an angry post on Facebook. I don’t know why, but at the time it seemed like a logical idea. Perhaps I thought I needed to write out my frustrations. I don’t know. The more I wrote, the more I knew I couldn’t share my feelings on Facebook.
I didn’t want to see the post pop up on my Timehop. I felt bad enough. I didn’t need to relive these feelings every year.
I abandoned my Facebook rant and went to seek out comfort in blogs. What I discovered was that I wasn’t alone. I read story after story about children with learning differences. Children whose needs are overlooked, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored by schools.
It made me wonder — why are schools so quick to approach learning in a one-size-fits-all manner? Life isn’t lived that way so why is learning treated any differently?
It’s been 4 years and I no longer give much thought to end-of-grade testing. My daughter is smart. At home, I see a child who is passionate about history, loves to read, and thirsts for knowledge. I see more than a child who struggles with math.
I’ve learned to embrace my daughter’s learning differences. I encourage her to pursue the things that she’s most passionate about. When she gets discouraged because something doesn’t come effortlessly to her, I remind her of everything she excels at. We read books like Fish in a Tree by Lynda Mullaly Hunt. I tell her random facts about people in history that had learning disabilities, so she knows she’s not alone. She’s not alone. She’ll never be alone.
If you’re like me 4 years ago, I want you to know that your child’s learning disability is not shameful.
A learning disability is not a dirty little secret that you have to keep hidden.
You’re not alone. In fact, I’d like to remind you that Mozart, Walt Disney, Einstein, and Thomas Edison had learning disabilities.
The world needs more people like your child. We need people who think outside of the box. We need people to pursue their passions. How about this — Instead of picking apart the differences of others, let’s encourage their strengths.
